Something about me that changed from being in South Korea is that I’ve become more innocent in handling boys and feelings for boys (also I’ve become like a hundred times more arrogant against them, but that’s another story). Anyhow, today I was on the subway train back from Myeongdong where I’d been shopping. I get on the train in the last minute so I’m basically throwing myself onto the train. Then I stand trying to fix my hair in the mirrored vision of me in the window on the door opposite to the one I’m standing by. I all of a sudden notice a very handsome man, around my age, sitting by the door, looking at me. Of course, as all korean men are somewhat shy when it comes to western girls – he turns his longing look away from me.
But for the first minutes of the trainride I notice him trying to descretely look at me, every other second. And then my head starts wishing that the seat next to his seat is the next one to be free, so I can sit down next to him. And all of a sudden, the train stops and the guy sitting next to the handsome boy leaves his seat. It was basically like a wish come true. I walk over to the seat and I see the handsome boy’s eyes become bigger with anticipation and nervous-ness. Next, when I sit down I realize that I can’t really see him well, sitting on his side because I have to turn a lot to actually see his face. Which wasn’t really part of my plan. The rest part of the trainride we’re both moving nervously, I see him looking over at me every chance he gets and I try to do the same thing without being creepy or awkward. Both of us are also fixing our hair like it’s part of an obsessive compulsive disorder thing we just realized that we both we’re suffering from.
At every moment that his body touched my side or anything, I felt myself go more and more nervous, and I could see him doing the same thing.
Then at the stop before mine I see him dreadfully standing up from his seat to get off. I can’t but think “ah fuck, now all the fun is over”. And basically it was, but still not. Next a bigger man comes to sit next to me, just at the moment where the handsome boy, standing by the door, looks back over his shoulder to look at me. But the fat man is covering our vision of each other.
Then the boy get’s off the train and just in his eyeline there’s a bar on the window of the level to cover his eyes from my sight, so I can just see his body walking past, face turned towards the window, where I’m sitting, trying to look for me.
Then the train drives off and I see him walking down some stairs, just given up looking for me anymore.